A post from late 2013/ early 2014 I never published.
I've been looking for a word for several days. It was finally filled in for me today.. Possibly because this was the 3rd time I was talking about the topic to this particular acquaintance. I was saying stuff like life is throwing me a few.. surprises? boulders? confusions? interesting situations?.. then it came to me. Life is throwing me a curve ball!
You know when you think things are starting together and you think yess, this is it! You can see farther ahead than just 2 months? And then it's like life goes, "seriously? you actually thought it was gonna be that straightforward?" and before you even have a chance to explain that seeing being happy about seeing two months into the future is not straightforward, it throws you a new one.
What you usually end up doing is storming for it and trying to understand where this one will land and mitigate the damage as much as possible (forgive the clumsy analogy). But then at some point you sit down after the curve ball suddenly and completely unexpectedly and against every force of nature changes direction again. It's just not fair. A curve ball is bad enough I am assuming as I have no actual experience of them, and having it change direction just as you're half way confident of catching it is nothing but sheer and utter cruelty.
So I'm going to call it a snitch. Because I actually have a bit of a clue about snitches. This is particularly elusive and evil one, the one that caused that 3 month game that is mentioned at some point.
The snitch decided that it wasn't hard enough that I only got to see me boyfriend two times a year and had to wait 5 months each time, it decided that to make things somewhat more challenging we were going to not be able to see each other for an entire year or else pay a ticket to Uni for him out of our own pockets. No biggie you say? Considering we are both perpetually broke from trying to see each other it is rather a big deal thank you very much.
Better yet, the girl that continued to flirt with the boy after we were 2 years into a relationship and would still try to kiss him and be overly affectionate right in front of me and while I was gone is 'lo and behold' moving to the same bloody town as the boy. The utter unfairness is unbelievable. It is causing me to alliterate. Not that she stands half a chance despite being a model. It's just the cherry on top of a what's already been plenty of bad news. It is just infuriating she gets to live in the same town, where I am on a different continent and 15 hours and season ahead.
You get the gist of the news, there was more to follow, but in the end I realized that none of the above or continued news was the Boy's fault.
It is either his parents fault, or it's my foolish knack for getting my hopes up too high despite my principles of expectations low and hopes high. I seem to have manged to get my hopes so high that they turn into expectations and when they cease to be foolish hopes and turn into foolish expectations they tend to crash and burn and be all the worse for having been expectations rather than hopes.
I have always felt an affinity with Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables and the following quote just once again manages to attest to why:
You know when you think things are starting together and you think yess, this is it! You can see farther ahead than just 2 months? And then it's like life goes, "seriously? you actually thought it was gonna be that straightforward?" and before you even have a chance to explain that seeing being happy about seeing two months into the future is not straightforward, it throws you a new one.
What you usually end up doing is storming for it and trying to understand where this one will land and mitigate the damage as much as possible (forgive the clumsy analogy). But then at some point you sit down after the curve ball suddenly and completely unexpectedly and against every force of nature changes direction again. It's just not fair. A curve ball is bad enough I am assuming as I have no actual experience of them, and having it change direction just as you're half way confident of catching it is nothing but sheer and utter cruelty.
So I'm going to call it a snitch. Because I actually have a bit of a clue about snitches. This is particularly elusive and evil one, the one that caused that 3 month game that is mentioned at some point.
The snitch decided that it wasn't hard enough that I only got to see me boyfriend two times a year and had to wait 5 months each time, it decided that to make things somewhat more challenging we were going to not be able to see each other for an entire year or else pay a ticket to Uni for him out of our own pockets. No biggie you say? Considering we are both perpetually broke from trying to see each other it is rather a big deal thank you very much.
Better yet, the girl that continued to flirt with the boy after we were 2 years into a relationship and would still try to kiss him and be overly affectionate right in front of me and while I was gone is 'lo and behold' moving to the same bloody town as the boy. The utter unfairness is unbelievable. It is causing me to alliterate. Not that she stands half a chance despite being a model. It's just the cherry on top of a what's already been plenty of bad news. It is just infuriating she gets to live in the same town, where I am on a different continent and 15 hours and season ahead.
You get the gist of the news, there was more to follow, but in the end I realized that none of the above or continued news was the Boy's fault.
It is either his parents fault, or it's my foolish knack for getting my hopes up too high despite my principles of expectations low and hopes high. I seem to have manged to get my hopes so high that they turn into expectations and when they cease to be foolish hopes and turn into foolish expectations they tend to crash and burn and be all the worse for having been expectations rather than hopes.
I have always felt an affinity with Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables and the following quote just once again manages to attest to why:
Marilla Cuthbert: You set your heart too much on frivolous things and then crash down into despair when you don't get them.
Anne Shirley: I know. I can't help flying up on the wings of anticipation. It's as glorious as soaring through a sunset... almost pays for the thud.
Marilla Cuthbert: Well, maybe it does. But I'd rather walk calmly along and do without flying AND thud.
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