Unfair

 Post from March 2014

 

Life is unfair. There. So what?

 

I'm currently pretty sad. I can't shake it. It's been stuck, for 2 weeks now I can't shake this unbelievable sadness. I'm assuming it's grief at having my regular, yes almost daily, Skype calls with the Boy downsized to once, maybe even twice a week. Maybe it's just realizing that I really love this boy very darn much and that the rule to stick with who you can't live without applies.

This will be a short post I think. No pictures.

I hate long distancing. It is unfair. Unfair that so many of my friends who are a similar age or a little older just up and get married while I sit and wait, and wait.. and wait. The fact is, I'm not even big on the marriage thing right now. Sure it'd be nice, but it's amazing how low that slips on the list of priorities when you can't talk to the one you love for more than an hour a week.

So if you're me you sit and wallow in some self pity. Then you realize:

1. It's not gonna change anything,
2. It's gonna make sure you stay miserable.
3. I have a boy that loves me.
4. I have an amazing life.
5. There are people who have nothing,
6. and no one.

So despite the fact that currently I can't currently boast the perks of either being single or in a relationship, I at least have the reassurance, there is someone out there who loves me a lot. There are people who have nothing, who have real problems, who know what death and grief and unhappiness really look like.

Me? I'm just a privileged white kid pouting cause life is unfair. And it is. I'm one of the lucky ones having the ability to pout.